Truth in real estate is often stranger than fiction

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Published Date 9/25/2024

Call it scoping out the competition or call it being nosy, but Realtor/humorist Herman Chan is always interested in hearing about people’s experiences with other Realtors.

One story he tells is of an out of town couple who flew into town on the hunt for a vacation home for up to $1M in his neck of the woods. “Unbeknownst to me, they actually had visited many states and cities this summer, each area with a different Realtor. Whereas most buyers stick with one agent over the course of their search and have limited comparison, this couple got to interact with a plethora of agents in a short period of time.”

He says some of the things that happened to them had him in stitches. An agent in La Jolla, CA, called them to say he was going to be a bit tardy for their first showing and to not worry because he was on his way. “My clients took the extra time to drive around the complex and check out the amenities. But as they return to the parking lot, a car blazes into the lot, rounds the corner and accidentally rams into my clients’ rental car.” He recounts how the driver gets out of his car and sheepishly says, “Don’t tell me. You’re the Milburns.”

After they spend the next two hours sorting out the insurance and accident claims, he says “So, let’s continue our tour.” Fat chance.

After that fiasco, Chan tells of an agent in Incline Village, NV, who showed them a townhouse that was his own listing. “After spending a while at the property, they went to the agent’s office to discuss a possible offer. Being an attorney, my client asked the agent if there was anything else to know about the property, since the agent was acting as a dual agent and had information about the seller.” The agent said, “Well there is one thing. The owner died in the master bedroom.”

“Oh, in his sleep?” they inquired. “No. His wife murdered him. But don’t worry, she is now institutionalized.” They passed on this property (and the agent).

A week later, Chan’s clients were finishing up a tour with an agent in Laguna Beach, CA, who frankly didn’t show them anything that matched their needs. “Maybe in an attempt to redeem himself, he said he had driven by an open house earlier that would be a good fit for them. So, they arrive and the open house is jam packed.” Evidently the couple swooned over the house’s architecture, layout and upgrades. They had never seen an open house with such decadent catering and elegantly dressed buyers. So they gave their agent a thumbs up.

As they are piling caviar onto their plates and sipping champagne, a woman who presumably was the listing agent, all of a sudden approaches them. They gush, “This is a lovely home. Please tell the seller we are very impressed,” to which she responds “Um, who are you?”

The couple explained that they were there for the open house. “This is indeed an open house…. for my friends and family. I am the new owner.”

Embarrassed beyond belief, they put down their plates and slithered out, recounts Chan. “My clients said each time they went out with a new agent, they felt like they were on a sitcom. Lucky for me, my tour with her was nowhere near as comedic (although I was holding my breath for something hilarious to happen…no such luck).”

TheAmericanGenius, HabitatforHermanity, TBWS

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